Clik here to view.
Katy Faust Of Grace Church Seattle Falls In Love With Kangaroo
Grace Church Seattle’s Katy Faust Says, “Yeah, So I’m In Love With A Kangaroo. Ya Got A Problem With That?” Fiction City, Australia. While trashing gay marriage on the Australian TV show, QandA,...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Grace Church Seattle Opens Bakery
Neanderthal Town, Washington. In news today that’s sure to wet the palates of Christian bigots everywhere, Grace Church Seattle has announced that it has opened it’s very own bakery. The bakery...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Anthropologist Discovers Creationists Living Next To Homo Sapiens
Cave City, Kentucky. Interesting news today comes to us from Anthropology Professor, Buddy Uptome of the University of Chicago. “I was walking in a wooded area of Kentucky, not far from a town...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Interview With A Mime
Silent Town, Oregon. An old mime friend of mine, Meme D. Mime, stopped by The Arm Chair Pontificator office yesterday to return a pen he borrowed from me in the 90’s. In order to prevent me from...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Catholics Aren’t True Christians, Says True Christian
Does NOT Included Catholicism Lily-White City, California. True christian, Phil Urassup, said today that there is nothing more damaging to the true message of Christianity than Catholicism. “Let’s...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Be Prepared For The War On Christmas This Year With The Atheist Fart Ball
The Atheist Fart Ball: Guaranteed To Fuck Up Christmas For Christians Every Time It’s Used Smellville, South Dakota. Are you an atheist who fights against Christians and Christmas every holiday...
View ArticleClik here to view.
A Few Words From A Neurotic Narcoleptic
Nancy Night Knight, A Neurotic Narcoleptic Snore Town, Maine. Hello. My name is Nancy Night Knight, and I’m a neurotic narcoleptic…..zzzzz…….Oh, excuse me. Did I nod off? Sorry, I do that...
View ArticleClik here to view.
If Ice Cubes Were Sentient
1.) Is it cold in here, or is it just me? 2.) So I figured it was a good time to take up smokin’ cause the sun’ll melt me outta existence long before I could ever die from cancer. 3.) Yer so hot,...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Jobs I’ve Lost And Why I Lost ‘Em
Before I was hired a by WordPress a few years ago to write and edit this blog, which now close to 3 people a month read, I had many other jobs that I greatly enjoyed until I was fired from them. Here...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Happy Contraction And Delivery Day
Happy Contraction And Delivery Day To Mothers Everywhere From The Staff Of The Arm Chair Pontificator. We Hope Your Labor Was, Or Will Be, An Easy One.Filed under: Religious and Political Satire, And...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Now For A Word From Aquaman
Hi kids! Just your friendly neighborhood Aquaman here with today’s tidbit on the benefits of living under water. Living under water is AWESOME cause when you gotta pee, you just let it go. No need...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Confessions Of A Garden Gnome
So, like, I’m just standin’ there doin’ my thing, ya know, an’ dis big, an’ I mean BIG, dog comes up ta me an’ lifts ‘is leg like ‘es gonna pee on me. So I says to ’em, ‘HEY, Rover, if you pee on me,...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Meet Dr. James Hanginweenie, The Naked Psychotherapist
Dr. James Hanginweenie, The Naked Psychotherapist Belly Hair City, New Jersey. Howdy, y’all. My name is Dr. James Hanginweenie, and I’m what’s known as a naked psychotherapist. I practice a form of...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Voice Mail Greetings From The Bible
From The Bible Greetings, Pontificator readers. I spent the day today calling the cell phones of famous folks from the Bible. Though no one was available to answer my calls, I did hear several...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Study Reveals 97% Of Americans Believe Budapest Is A Type Of Insect
97% Of Americans Believe This Is A Buddha Pest Ignorant Town, Pennsylvania. Penn State University’s professor of surveys, Sans Everythin, announced today that when asked if Budapest was a city in...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Nuclear Missiles Don’t Kill People, People Kill People
This Baby Would Look Great Next To The TV In My Apartment Bloodbath City, Oklahoma. Hello Pontificator readers. Today I want to talk to you about a very serious issue: My desire to own a nuclear...
View ArticleClik here to view.
A Quick Word From Wonder Woman
Ya know, Superman, it’s bad enough you left the damn toilet seat up again, but you dribbled pee all over the floor again, too. I’m NOT cleaning it up this time! I swear to Zeus, I’m not!!!Filed...
View ArticleClik here to view.
A Zombie Joke To Make Ya’ Groan
What do you call a zombie with a god complex? JesusFiled under: Religious and Political Satire, And Other Irreverent Humor Tagged: Fiction, humor, jesus, Jokes, Zombies
View ArticleClik here to view.
Ask Henry The 8th: A New Advice Column From The Arm Chair Pontificator
Dear King Henry, I’m 15 years old and have a dating problem I hope you can help me with. I’ve been dating a girl named Ann for about a year now, but recently I met, and fell in love with, another girl...
View ArticleClik here to view.
New Dinosaur, The Jesusaurus Rex, Discovered In Florida
The Jesusaurus Rex Humid-As-Fuck City, Florida. In breath-stopping news today, University of Miami Paleontologist, Dr. Al Beseeingu, announced he’s discovered a new species of dinosaur living in a...
View Article
